I exist along the edges.
I travel on back roads and walk the side streets, carving a quiet path through life. I loathe crowds, and need a still place to recover once I escape their maddening grip.
I am not aloof, pretentious, or unfriendly. I want to run on the last available treadmill between two strangers at the gym without feeling my heart in my throat. I want to make eye contact with you on the street, smile, and say good morning without fearing rejection. I want to fit into the extroverted “normal human being” social paradigm.
And so I try. After an awkward lifetime of feeling drained and unable to renew, (amongst others yet within myself,) I crafted a mask convincing enough to convince myself that it was real.
… But it isn’t. Beneath it all, I am Renee Novosel —
a mother/writer/lover/introvert in an extroverted world, and I write to honor the world within, the world beneath the mask, to remember who I am, and to remind myself that it’s okay to seek the quiet.