about

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I exist along the edges. 

I travel on back roads and walk the side streets, carving a quiet path through life. I loathe crowds, and need a still place to recover once I escape their maddening grip.

I am not aloof, pretentious, or unfriendly. I want to run on the last available treadmill between two strangers at the gym without feeling my heart in my throat. I want to make eye contact with you on the street, smile, and say good morning without fearing rejection. I want to fit into the extroverted “normal human being” social paradigm.

And so I try. After an awkward lifetime of feeling drained and unable to renew, (amongst others yet within myself,) I crafted a mask convincing enough to convince myself that it was real. 

… But it isn’t. Beneath it all, I am Renee Novosel —

a mother/writer/lover/introvert in an extroverted world, and I write to honor the world within, the world beneath the mask, to remember who I am, and to remind myself that it’s okay to seek the quiet.

290 thoughts on “about

  1. You know, I wonder if our inconsistencies make us human. I am the bravest fearful person I know. So many things make me shudder and worry that I have to face them all head on. Keep writing that edgy honesty; superbly inconsistent for a liar.

  2. “Fake it until it’s real” has been my coping mechanism. Welcome to the world of liars! 🙂

  3. “There will be time, there will be time
    To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet” ( TS Eliot)
    Thanks for the follow on my bog”theaccidentalsufi” 🙂 Good to connect 🙂

  4. Greetings, Renee. I just wanted to thank you for following my blog, Promptly Written. I also want you to know that I too was a liar for a long time. I came out of the introvert closet with a whimper, leaving the door open so I could crawl back in as needed. I am still getting used to the solitude I so desperately need on a daily basis and teaching my slightly more extroverted husband about my situation. I look forward to reading your blog and wish you much happiness and blessings.

    1. Thank you and likewise, Lori! I didn’t understand the nature of introversion until recently, and only with therapy did I begin to understand how detrimental fighting it can be. Thank you for reaching out. 🙂

      1. Therapy has helped me understand too. Imagine going through 30+ years thinking you are a horrible person because you are an introvert. I was called so many names and even called myself selfish most of the time. I am so glad I understand now.

  5. I came onto your blog ‘about’ after you kindly chose to ‘follow’(I wasn’t born to ….). I have just read your about bit, loved it. Yours, I’m a bit inverted Peet, and I’m so out there, Dan O’Blarty

  6. I’m Katie, and I’m also a liar. I hear the words “get a grip” almost every day, I’m always told to “get over myself/yourself” and I still haven’t figured out how to tell people that if I could, I would. Your about me puts into words everything I struggle to understand every day of my life.

  7. Wow, what can I say, what a great blog you have!! I really like the way you write. Your poetry is awesome and I wish I could express myself better now, but somehow that is not really a talent of mine. Anyway I enjoy your blog a lot 🙂

  8. Hi Renee – First, thank you for visiting and following my blog. Secondly, your approach here is quite interesting. But as Maya Angelou noted, we all wear masks of some sort, even those who are considered extroverted. That’s why poetry and writing are such important outlets to breath our true selves into the world. Thanks again!

  9. I was an introvert at one time. No longer. One day you might find that the extrovert you, that you consider “the liar” is now who you really are! Be brave and face the world as you are. I read once that when fear entereth, doubt entereth, and he who doubts is lost. Do not get lost in doubt. Face the fears and you will find that the fear of whatever was not as bad as you might think it is…I did!
    Thank you for the follow! ^..^

    1. Thank you for reaching out! However, in my case introversion has less to do with a lack of self esteem and more to do with needing my personal space. 😉 And you’re welcome!

  10. Always nice to meet another introverted wallflower who understands. If you think using the middle treadmill is uncomfortable, try using the middle urinal.

  11. Totally relate. Crowds freak me out. Loud noise. I need time afterwards to decompress. My social awkwardness and fear has me pretending to be someone else. That’s what I do to cope. Lovely article

  12. Thanks for following my blog, hope it inspires you! I read your ‘About’ and you write very well. Don’t force yourself to be extrovert all the time, the strain may be too much. Don’t be afraid to be who you are.

    1. Thank you also, Ann Marie! The work of fellow writers is my greatest inspiration. 🙂 And I always make time for quiet recovery from the noise … I’d go crazy otherwise!

  13. Dear Renee,
    Thank you for following my blog. It means a lot to me!
    This post is just brilliant. I mean that as far as literature and writing goes.
    Aesthetically, you are trying to hide as an introvert.
    A person is who he/she is meant to be!
    That is my line!
    Have a nice day! 🙂

  14. Very interesting blog! Thank you for visiting and following my blog and I hope that you enjoy the content. I am now following you also and can’t wait to get better acquainted with your work!

  15. Hi,

    Thank you for following me. A great write up you have up there.. Would appreciate any kind of comments on mine.. Looking forward to reading some beautiful stuff out here.. Keep Blogging 🙂

  16. Just love your writing! And respect for being able to use the mask when needed… Even if the inner is where you would prefer to be! I am understanding more through your expressions. Thank you! Maybe all of our masks serve a purpose as long as we accept them as masks and not try to make them the purpose! You seem to have a very healthy take… Thanks! And thank you for visiting and liking! 🙂

  17. How well I understand the heart of an introvert. The older I get, the better I become at putting on masks, but it never feels natural.
    Thanks for the follow!

  18. Thank you for following my blog and introducing me to yours. Your words are filled with a great honesty that is a true help to a person. Keep up your great work =)

    1. Thank you also! Public honesty is a humbling position, as I’m sure you know, and your encouragement means very much. It’s lovely getting to know you … enjoy your day!

  19. Hey! Thank you for following my blog, and introducing me to your amazing blog. I have read many introductions on WordPress but this is the best one, true to the core. Reading this made me feel at home. Thank you once again. Looking forward to more. ❤

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